Who Calls You 'Sweetie'?

On a Monday I went to my Salsa club as usual. Seeing and greeting many familiar faces, I found myself being called 'sweetie' by a guy who I know, but whom I am not any close to. He never called be 'sweetie' before that. I was surprised, a little unpleasantly, but did not object. After all, having lived in England for four years now, I should be used to being addressed by 'darling', 'love' or 'gorgeous', should I not. Indeed, this was amongst the first cultural differences I noticed when I came to London four years ago. Strangers, people I had never met, man or women, called me 'darling'. When men called me like this, I thought, 'wow, they must like me', when women did, 'what is this all about'? Well, it goes without saying that I learnt very quickly that this was nothing but common.

Sweetie seems to be the new darling. Now it is more often that I am being addressed using the word sweetie, whereas just a few years ago it was more the word darling. Even Barack Obama admitted having the bad habit of calling people sweetie and apologized for it to a female reporter whom he had addressed saying, "Hold on one second, sweetie." That was just in 2008 when he was still Senator. (Chicago Tribune) Anyhow, sweetie is supposed to be a term of endearment, as darling is, it developed from the adjective sweet by adding the suffix -ie, becoming a noun, and is a synonym of sweetheart. It refers to a person who is dear to and loved by another person. Other words along the constellation of diminutives meant for loved people are darling, honey, sugar, sweetie pie etc. (Merriam Webster) According to linguists, all can be used as vocatives, which means addressing people by their or any name. Now we know the theory behind it.

What about the practice? There is nothing wrong with the word sweetie by all means. It feels great to be called 'sweetie' by my sweetheart, even in public. However, I am not prepared to be called 'sweetie' or 'sugar' or 'love' by people I hardly know, publicly or not. The example of Obama having used it in public showed that society is still coming to terms with it and is perhaps trying to re-define the context. American newspapers were discussing this incident, mulling over potential underlying meanings such as offense, dismissal and condescension, especially when men refer to women using diminutives. So, why not continuing to use it in the historically and traditionally known context only - as an endearing word, relating to people one loves and cares for. What other words are out there to use to make loved ones feel special instead? When I say then, 'Hold on one second, sweetie' to my sweetheart, he will know what I mean.