Fascinating vs. Normal Fate

There are as many different life courses as there are human beings. Everybody is born under different circumstances, in different environments and by different parents, which ultimately shape how the life is lead. People share each others’ lives stories by just talking to each other, amongst other ways. What is it then that makes a life story more intriguing and worth listening to or remembering than others? Perhaps it is an element of drama and otherness that evokes attention and interest. In this case, I think it was.

The other day a young woman told about a person she did not like in the beginning because of her too extravagant and weird behaviour. A few months and a few encounters later, her perception had changed since she had heard more about the woman’s fate, which has been something like this: Being a young, wealthy girl from a good English family, she fell in love with a Nigerian man and went along to live with him in Nigeria. That must have been in the 1960s; the family disapproved. In Nigeria, they had 2 daughters and pursued some business together. After some time, they fell out and she had to flee with her daughters because her husband sent the mafia after her. They hid in New Zealand and could only come back to England after her husband had died. Very sadly though, the older daughter did not make it until then because she committed suicide when she was 18, which must have been in the 1980s. Being 70 years of age today, the woman has not lost any of her positive spirits, is lively and kind, and does not mind people’s attention which is often directed to her outer appearance in the first instance as she dresses extravagantly and consistently in the style of the 1940s.

"Among Russians"

Colin Thubron in his book Among the Russians - From the Baltic to the Caucasus (1984) captures a testimony of a Latvian man about Russian authorities: "You are always treated like a child. There is nothing but bureaucracy, dogma, interference! It's all so stupid." (p.120, Vintage London)

Quotation from "The Gambler"

Fyodor Dostoyevsky writes in his story The Gambler (1866): "He (Mr Astley) also says that we Russians know nothing, can do nothing, without European help." (Chapter XV)

Bombings in Moscow?

World news can be quite shocking. One wakes up in the morning and hears about killings and bombings and death and catastrophy and agony in the news. This morning though, Monday March 29th, Muscovites did not hear anyhting about the suicide blasts that had hit two underground trains and stations of Moscow's Metro until 2 hours later. National radio and TV kept broadcasting morning shows, advertisements and soaps, but nothing about the devastation in their city. People left homes for work, still embarking trains, clueless about the threat. This practice of delaying news reports or even conceal them must have reminded everyone of the autocratic and secretive way officials handled reporting of current matters in socialist Russia.

In the attacks, occuring at Lublyanka station and Park Kultury, 38 people were killed and dozens more injured. Russian officials blamed Islamist separatists from the Caucasus for the attack in the heartland of Russia. (Picture by Time Magazine)

Beyond Boundaries

Scientists have identified 9 areas that are crucial for the assessment of life on planet Earth as we know it. Exceeding their boundaries means a serious threat to the natural world and resources. They are:

-Fresh water use
-Change in land use
-Rate of Biodiversity loss
-Climate change
-Nitrogen cycle
-Phosporus cycle
-Stratospheric ozone depletion
-Atmospheric Aerosol loading
-Chemical polution
-Ocean acidification
Now, the graph shows that humans have overstepped 3 of the 9 planetary boundaries and are close to transgressing others. The ultimate impact: unknown. The way of limitation: unknown. Wow, what a prospect. (from New Scientist 2010)

Sausages

Bill Clinton quoted in his book My Life: "Someone once said that the two things people should never watch being made are sausages and laws. It was ugly and uncertain." (535)

France & McDonald's

The Times newspaper recently featured an article about French women growing bigger. So far they have been known for being skinny and very body-conscious. Now they waist numbers enlarge, and they are said to like it. French society - even though I think it is more the fashion industry, which is hard to understand anyway as a reasonably rationally thinking human being- is asked to drop they expectations in terms of weight and body shape.

A woman voice in the article further laments how McDonalds, which eventually came to a small French town, lured the people into its halls with people queueing at their counters and cars queueing at their Drive-thru. As if McDonalds were to blame for heavier if not obese bodies?!! Ultimately, it is a person's own choice what they want to eat. I am convinced that everybody is educated enough by now to know what healthy food and lifestyle is about. Speaking of lifestyle, perhaps it is particularly that what the French people want to taste and experience at McDonald's?

Teenagers??!!

Well, one hears 'teenager' and thinks 'gosh, teenager, yes....no wonder. There is quick help in dealing with teenagers, using your common sense, because ultimately common sense and psychology together have produced some key tips, which are said to help 'survive' dealing with teenagers. Surely, they can be demanding, but at the same time inspiring, energizing and just down-right wonderful. My daughter is, at the age of 13. I could have 10 of them now....anyway, 5 good tips are those:
1. Listen actively by acknowledging what they are saying and empathising with them and their feelings that come with it.
2. Acknowledge their anger and frustration in particular; sometimes they cannot quite identify frustration as such.
3. Keep bonding by doing special things together, and alone, just the two of you.
4. Keep reminding them of rules and stick to appropriate boundaries; they may not like it, but certainly respect it.
5. Reins shall be loosened; negotiation may help to do it gradually.
6. As parents, embrace new technology by sending texts or communication via social networking sites.

Five Emotions You Never Thought You Had

The magazine New Scientist, vol. 205 no 2743, reports that they are more than the six basic emotions, one never knew they had. Psychologists agree on the fact that there are the six basic emotions: joy, sadness, anger, fear, surprise, and disgust. All of them are expressed in and by our face and have been thought to be important for survival.

Since times are changing, new emotions come under researchers' radar. Such emotions mostly do not have an immediate facial expression, but serve a purpose in our lives: that of motivating activities that help us thrive. Those new emotions are: elevation, interest, gratitude, pride, and confusion. Elevation is for uplifting and linked to the release of oxytocin, which makes people feel more open and trusting, just what is needed for strengthening and repairing relationships. Interest is for curiosity and learning for the own development. Gratitude is said to be the relationship-boosting emotion. It moves us to return kindness and also helps us find individuals who want us well and be there for us in the future. It activates the give-and-take cycle. Pride is the ambiguous emotion: arrogant and noble at the same time. It is important because it makes us look and evaluate ourselves and motivates is to do well and gain respect. Finally, confusion is the emotion indication it is time for change. Still, some psychologists do not accept it as a basic emotion. Nonetheless, this one has a distinctive facial expression, unlike the others, and proves that the way our brain is working does not work at the time of assessment. It motivates us to adjust our activities and, ultimately, brings new knowledge and encourages new relationships.